What do you think you're good at? A lot of people don't really know, let along how and when they apply their strengths. And reading some articles about strengths it would be understandable if you came away thinking that strengths are always good to use! I certainly have. There tends to be an indirect message that it's good to maximise strengths.
So what do strength traps look like? I'm going to concentrate on three types of traps - there could easily be more! Remember these traps don't broadcast themselves, or have a thought-nudger 'be careful now, a strength trap is just...
Increasing awareness and choiceSo in part 1 I considered the relationships between feelings, thinking, awareness and choice.
I know when I’ve read such blogs, I’ve thought “OK, so how can I increase my awareness and choice?” And I’m hugely tempted to give you a suggestion on how to do it, even though I know that's not the way to go!
Now you may be asking that question. However, is it because you consider that you ‘should’ or ‘must’ increase your awareness and, therefore, choice? If so, it is likely your ‘interest’ in increasing your awareness is coming from somewhere other...
Thinking and awareness
Some time ago my cat was ill and I was waiting for the results of a blood test. Over the next day his health deteriorated further and then during the night he went out and did not return – a very unusual occurrence. I was extremely worried due to his ill-health and I had heard that cats sometimes go away to die. Well two days later I thought he must be dead.
After tears I reflected on what had happened and realised that I had chosen to give him freedom and this led to these consequences.
What I’m...
I covered some key reasons for finding a person 'difficult' in Part 1. And a way of preparing to meet in Part 2. Now I want to consider the meeting itself.Some general points that could be of assistance are:
- You can only control how you react to the 'difficult' person
- All behaviours have a positive intent e.g. a client of mine said that when responding sarcastically, he was just trying to start communication as he thought it was needed
- Avoid absolutes (e.g. always, never) even when thinking about the person as well as when speaking with the person
- ...
"..the question is not so much what makes them 'difficult', but what we tell ourselves about them that makes them difficult" ~ Peter Vajda
Recently I've been working with a client who wants help with working effectively with a person she finds difficult. I asked 'in what ways difficult?' She said it was based on past experiences over a few years. In the first instance they got on fine. Circumstances changed and so did their relationship. My client's interpretation of this particular person's words, deeds and behaviour led her to finding it nigh impossible to trust him as a work...
