I covered some key reasons for finding a person 'difficult' in Part 1. And a way of preparing to meet in Part 2. Now I want to consider the meeting itself.Some general points that could be of assistance are:
- You can only control how you react to the 'difficult' person
- All behaviours have a positive intent e.g. a client of mine said that when responding sarcastically, he was just trying to start communication as he thought it was needed
- Avoid absolutes (e.g. always, never) even when thinking about the person as well as when speaking with the person
- ...
In Part 1 I covered some key reasons for finding a person 'difficult'. Now I want to reflect on what may help you with people you find difficult. Actually, practically all of what follows is relevant regardless of whether or not you find the person 'difficult'!
Here's my take on what preparation to do. You may be attracted to what I propose - or parts of it - or may be not. Go with what attracts or interests you. If you attempt what doesn't attract or interest you, you are likely to have in your mind, consciously or unconsciously, 'well, I'll...
"..the question is not so much what makes them 'difficult', but what we tell ourselves about them that makes them difficult" ~ Peter Vajda
Recently I've been working with a client who wants help with working effectively with a person she finds difficult. I asked 'in what ways difficult?' She said it was based on past experiences over a few years. In the first instance they got on fine. Circumstances changed and so did their relationship. My client's interpretation of this particular person's words, deeds and behaviour led her to finding it nigh impossible to trust him as a work...
