I covered some key reasons for finding a person 'difficult' in Part 1. And a way of preparing to meet in Part 2. Now I want to consider the meeting itself.Some general points that could be of assistance are:
- You can only control how you react to the 'difficult' person
- All behaviours have a positive intent e.g. a client of mine said that when responding sarcastically, he was just trying to start communication as he thought it was needed
- Avoid absolutes (e.g. always, never) even when thinking about the person as well as when speaking with the person
- ...
I recently read Michael Neill's newsletter 'A Question of Standards', which got me thinking about what relationship standards may have with values. I like Michael's description of standards and so will share that with you:
"A 'standard', as I am using the word, is an arbitrary line in the sand that determines what we consider to be acceptable and unacceptable in our world. When our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, or circumstances drop below a certain standard, it automatically triggers compensatory action on our part. As long as we remain at or above our current standard for something, it receives no...
Of course you can! And I personally have enjoyed my work without consciously knowing my core values. And yet …
When you consciously know your core values you have a boundless sense of certainty and commitment to what you’re doing. Your enjoyment reaches a different dimension. What you do, say, feel, think are based on an extra foundation of assurance, confidence, which is sound in form.
Because you have this stronger internal foundation, you are likely to:
- be bolder in what you’ll try, accepting the consequences of mistakes as an opportunity to learn. Naturally not risking anyone’s health or safety!
- find you...
Do you realise how much your personal values influence what you think, do and say? I didn’t fully appreciate it until my first coach asked me to consider what my core values were, so that we could ensure what ideas came up could be checked against them. This was really powerful.
Not only do they unconsciously influence your life, but also you can actively use them.
For example, when I was stuck on something another coach would ask me either something like "which of your core values would help you right now?" or "how may thinking about your core values help you...
