Thinking, Awareness and Choice: Part 1

Thinking and awareness Some time ago my cat was ill and I was waiting for the results of a blood test. Over the next day his health deteriorated further and then during the night he went out and did not return – a very unusual occurrence.  I was extremely worried due to his ill-health and I had heard that cats sometimes go away to die.  Well two days later I thought he must be dead.   After tears I reflected on what had happened and realised that I had chosen to give him freedom and this led to these consequences.   What I’m...

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Difficult People Part 1- reasons for difficulty

"..the question is not so much what makes them 'difficult', but what we tell ourselves about them that makes them difficult" ~ Peter Vajda

  Recently I've been working with a client who wants help with working effectively with a person she finds difficult. I asked 'in what ways difficult?' She said it was based on past experiences over a few years.  In the first instance they got on fine.  Circumstances changed and so did their relationship.  My client's interpretation of this particular person's words, deeds and behaviour led her to finding it nigh impossible to trust him as a work...

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Standards and Values

I recently read Michael Neill's newsletter 'A Question of Standards', which got me thinking about what relationship standards may have with values. I like Michael's description of standards and so will share that with you:   "A 'standard', as I am using the word, is an arbitrary line in the sand that determines what we consider to be acceptable and unacceptable in our world. When our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, or circumstances drop below a certain standard, it automatically triggers compensatory action on our part. As long as we remain at or above our current standard for something, it receives no...

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Can’t You Enjoy Work Without Knowing Your Core Values?

Of course you can! And I personally have enjoyed my work without consciously knowing my core values. And yet …   When you consciously know your core values you have a boundless sense of certainty and commitment to what you’re doing. Your enjoyment reaches a different dimension. What you do, say, feel, think are based on an extra foundation of assurance, confidence, which is sound in form.   Because you have this stronger internal foundation, you are likely to: - be bolder in what you’ll try, accepting the consequences of mistakes as an opportunity to learn. Naturally not risking anyone’s health or safety! - find you...

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Using the Influence your Personal Values Have

Do you realise how much your personal values influence what you think, do and say? I didn’t fully appreciate it until my first coach asked me to consider what my core values were, so that we could ensure what ideas came up could be checked against them. This was really powerful.   Not only do they unconsciously influence your life, but also you can actively use them.   For example, when I was stuck on something another coach would ask me either something like "which of your core values would help you right now?" or "how may thinking about your core values help you...

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